We as Deaf folks are defined by our deafness. Our deafness makes us who we are and shapes our way of thinking and moral structure. Being deaf makes people treat us in different ways, both good and bad. It propels us to make our decisions in a certain way and shapes our life philosophy and faith. So many layers are involved to the point where it’s mind boggling.
The one question that has always perplexed me (yet has only a vague answer) is this:
Who would I be if I wasn’t Deaf?
Aside from the obvious (I would be hearing), I really do not know the answer myself as there are too many variables. I would have to review the last twenty years of my life and speculate upon numerous possibilities and what-if scenarios. It would simply be too much for me to attempt.
I personally believe without a shadow of doubt that I would be a totally different individual without my deafness… my personality being totally different. I had to adapt to how people reacted to me. If I was hearing, who is to say I would retain the lessons I’ve learned from facing those challenges as a deaf person?
For example, in my history class in the 7th grade, I was given the choice to pick between a book report or a recitation of a well-known historical speech in front of the entire class. Now keep in mind this was a mainstream school and it was during a period of my life where I was oral and had not yet discovered the wonders of American Sign Language.
My teacher simply told me that the speech project was too challenging-presuming my deafness would make the project more difficult for me-and attempted to persuade me to pick the book report instead (as my deafness would have set me up for failure).
Obviously I was offended and wanted to prove her wrong. I transformed her comments into motivation to succeed. I wanted to blow the entire class’ socks out the window. The speech I picked was seven famous paragraphs of Martin Luther King Junior’s “I Have a Dream” speech. I only had two weeks to memorize and repeat this in class in a semi-entertaining way.
Two weeks passed and I spent every waking moment memorizing that speech, even to the point where I was practicing in the shower. I was extremely skittish but my motivation to prove my teacher wrong overcame my nerves. In the end I gave a booming and charismatic presentation of the speech and memorized all the words. The whole class was collectively gasping. I proved my teacher wrong! My being deaf did not stop me from doing anything. She gave me a 98%, an A!
That taught me that no matter what someone says to me or if people try to put me down for what they perceive as imperfections, I “can.” When someone says I “can’t” do something because I’m deaf, I bluntly go to prove them dead wrong. This belief has melded into my everyday life to the point where if I am told I can’t do something I make it a point to show the world that I can.
If I was hearing, would I still have that trait of wanting to prove I can accomplish my goal? Or would I simply be submissive and accept that they are right? It doesn’t matter whether you’re proud to be Deaf or someone who views deafness as a disability. Everyone can agree that being deaf teaches life lessons that one could not gain from simply being hearing.
All the times I experienced difficulties, ranging from when I was bullied (by being thrown in a river, which destroyed my hearing aids) to not being allowed to play football with the neighboring kids were jarring experiences that made me somewhat bitter and less trusting of people. But in reality it also forced me to stand up for what matters most and all those experiences made me a stronger person.
It also made me realize that people with autism, blindness, or some other condition don’t have a disability; they just have a condition. It’s only a disability because bullies and ignorant individuals make all these conditions disabilities by proxy with their views.
If I had been born hearing, would I have ended up becoming an ignorant person who considered deafness akin to a disease? That’s a disturbing thought, but that is a possibility as being Deaf teaches me and my fellow peers (or most of them) that any human condition can be an ability as long as one does not have the “dis” in their mentality, thus making it a disability.
I expand my “what if” to a wider perspective including fellow Deaf peers and our beloved culture. Would we have the bonds we have with our Deaf friends, where we would visit routinely at reunions, get- togethers, and at Deaf Clubs, or would that just erode into nothing (and we would just have friends that pass through our lives)? Deaf people have this special closeness that hearing individuals seem to lack. It’s a closeness that we would lose if we weren’t all born Deaf.
How would the absence of the Deaf culture and community affect the world? Would life go on as usual but with a world that does not know of closed captions, sign language, and ASL? Would the world be a more ignorant place without Deaf folks being walking lessons that teach the world about strength and the importance of equal communication? Questions that seemed easy to answer become complex once one imagines the bigger picture.
This could be a moot point as Deafness might just be a small part in the canvas that makes up our identities. Our race, finical situation, and our ethnicity also play a role in how our personalities and moral compasses are formed. Growing up in a city or in the backwoods would determine how we live. Maybe our Deafness would not change anything as long as the above factors remain the same. Or it could change everything.
