On Why Dora the Explorer Isn’t a Superhero—Where a Lack of Discrimination is the Problem
Quite a few deaf people, I would bet, have experienced the following scenario: A couple of years ago I was at the airport (using a major airline). I told the people at the desk near my gate that I was deaf; a standard practice of mine in case somebody announces a gate change. [...]
Notes from a Helicopter Dad
My son is three. Keep this in mind. So I walk into his pre-school classroom last week, right? This room has two teachers: Mr. Rogers* and his assistant—let’s call her Vladmilla. Mr. Rogers is a young guy. Professional, mindful of the children as human beings with feelings… yes, even at the tender age of [...]
Deaf Rumor Mills—The Surest Path to Absolute Freedom
You people have got to stop trying to avoid the Deaf rumor mill. You’re not going to escape it no matter what you do. So why not make it work for you? I personally make it a point to start up one new rumor about myself every week. There’s a fine art to these things. [...]
In the Depths of Space, No One Can Lip Read Your Scream
Now you see, NASA at least was smart enough to figure this out. They realized there’s no air in space. They predicted that sound wasn’t going to carry naturally through a vacuum, even if the astronauts flipped up their faceplates to cancel out any potential muffling effects. That said, notice how they didn’t strap their [...]
Putty in the Security Gap (a Poem)
It occurs to few A disgruntled government worker, in the right place and time, with even a single plastic egg of silly putty could spread it over sensitive documents, copying everything, and their bosses (trained only to spot C-4) would say “Is that C-4 spread all over your desk, mister?” The disgruntled government worker would [...]
The Man Cave Rulez
1) The first rule of the Man Cave is that you don’t write clever introductions regarding the Man Cave. The reason for this is 2) The second rule of the Man Cave is that ______ without Caves aren’t Men. They aren’t even Women. Women have Every Other Room in the House. And because they’ve displayed craftiness and [...]
Tree Hugger/Enhancement (Two Poems)
TREE HUGGER He was a Zen disciple of passion. Prior to the meditative ritual that landed him in prison, he never would have thought that being One with a tree was illegal in every state except California (and only there since Legislature needed Republican votes to get “for-cancer-patients-only medical marijuana” passed, and some compromise was [...]
Stuff Deaf People Like #6: VP Numbers
Deaf people often possess a painstakingly curated collection of videophone numbers. This is more a reflection of the highly fragmented video relay service (VRS) industry and its practices than any predilection towards numerical hoarding on the Deaf person’s part. The FCC requires that any person who uses a videophone must register for a telephone number [...]
Pushed into Faith Healing
Long ago, I was dating this Christian woman, Sandy. In my own defense, let me say three things: 1) She was hot (I have my wife’s permission to tell you this, by the way); 2) I was a spankin’ new college freshman at UW-Milwaukee, and was opening myself up to new dating experiences; and 3) [...]
Observations on Frustration
I’ve been a professor at Gallaudet for eleven years now. In that time I’ve distilled a number of observations—not only about Gallaudet but also about the general deaf-hearing community—that I would like to discuss here, because I can see from certain recent articles and vlogs that tensions are present. I say “present” because that’s the [...]